Getting Ready for the Eurovision 2021 Grand Final

 

Get ready for the final!  

I must say, we are shaking our heads here at the Radio Free Järbo Studios over the results of the semifinals.  We are really shocked that a number of really great songs did not make it through (Austria, Estonia, North Macedonia), while a number of bouncy bad songs did make it through (I'm looking at you Cyprus, Israel, Moldova, San Remo, Serbia).  Maybe it is a sing of the times.  Maybe after a year of dealing with viruses, illnesses, deaths, and lockdowns, people just want to take the mask off and dance.  

Here is our rundown of the songs in the Grand Final based on watching the official videos, and the two Semi Finals.  They are presented in running order so you can follow along.  An asterisk ( * ) by the name means we think you should vote for it.  

Be sure to check back here before voting so we can tell you how to vote.  And we'll have the results of the official Radio Free Järbo professional jury!  We'll be live blogging through the show as well.

Cyprus:  There’s a stripper in Los Vegas who wants her dress back!  This hot mess brings “formulaic” to new lows.  How it got through to the final when so many better songs got sent home is beyond me. Was Satan actually voting?  “This is horrible,” Gunnar says.  I think he’s being too kind. 
PS.  Cancel the dress return.  The stripper decided it made her look too cheap.

*Albania:  This song by Anxhela Peristeri has that blend of Eastern and Western music that the Balkans do so well in their ballads.  She has a really nice set of lungs and really does the song proud.  Not sure about the choice of costume, though. 

Israel:  Listening to the song without any video, it came across as about as original as that can of peas I just opened, and less enjoyable.  Gunnar said, “Null points.”  Her stage presence improved it, and I think it was the performance more than the song that got her into the final.

*Belgium:  Hooverphonic brings us a captivating song that stands out because of how interesting it is musically.  Once the song starts, they hold you all the way through.  That makes the abrupt ending more painful.  “The three minute curse.” The lead singer has the right voice for this song and carries it really well. 

Russia:  While we have to admit the staging is engaging and the music far from the Eurovision norm, it doesn’t really speak to us in the end.  Partly because, if you don’t know the language, there isn’t much to get out of a song like this, however much fun they were having on stage.

*Malta:  With a command of the stage that grabs you from the first note, Destiny has our hearts with this really fun song.  She is the perfect vehicle for this music and even makes you forget that, well, she’s not singing the most literary lyrics.  Sometimes we don’t care.  I now blurt out “Je me casse” just for fun.  Favorite part, where she says, “Pardon my French.”   My only regret is that the song she would have competed with in 2020 was even better and would have won.  This one might.  We’ll see.

*Portugal:  It is rare for a Eurovision song to go so bluesy, and it is very welcome in this great tune from Black Mamba.  I like the simplicity of the song, and after seeing the video, was a little afraid it wouldn’t translate to the big stage.  They turned in on in the Semi Final, though and nailed it.  Their presence in the Grand Final is a welcome surprise. 

Serbia:  Say hello to the Serbian Kardashian sisters.  We’re all for mindless drivel on occasion, but this is a bit too mindless.  Frankly, we think those who voted for it, and will vote for it now, are a little “loco loco” themselves. 

*United Kingdom:  More of a “get up and dance” number than the UK normally sends to Eurovision, “Embers” is a welcome change.  I hope he can get the energy on stage that the video has and that he gets the audience at home up and dancing.  The UK normally gets ignored in the voting, even on the rare occasion they send a worthy song. (And this is better than the song he would have had in 2020.)  He won’t win, of course, but he really should place respectably, unless block voting torpedos it.
PS.  If you haven’t seen the BBC’s parody of Line of Duty with James Newman in it, look it up.  If you know the show, it’s hilarious.

Greece:  Probably some of the most interesting staging we’ve seen so far, which is needed, because the song is indecipherable.  My initial notes on hearing it alone (no video) was that someone should take the pen away from whoever wrote it.  She did sell it on the night, though, and that redeemed it some.   I wonder how long it takes her to get in and out of that sequined tight purple number she wears.    

*Switzerland:  Gjon’s Tears was the only solo male balladeer who made it through the second semifinal.   Part of what makes this song so lovely is that his voice matches the beauty of the music.  Something about the combination draws you in from the first note and keeps you with him until the end.  I’m not as big a fan of his voice when he is in the higher registers, though.   

Iceland:  It’s a fun little number for sure, and they can sing, but we’re not among the people who are in love with it.  We’re not sure why bookies are giving it high odds to win.

*Spain:   Spain finally sends a Eurovision entry that doesn’t totally suck! Wow!  No, it doesn’t hurt that he is easy on the eyes, either.  I hope he can channel all of the emotion that is behind the song and make the audience feel it.  If so, even corona-weary Europe will vote for it.

Moldova:  More saccharine than sugar. Great choreography to a dull song.  The video looks like Pee Wee’s Play House was turned into a brothel. 

*Germany:  The video for this song is really cute and very funny.  But the little clip we saw of the stage performance almost seemed as if he were out of breath trying to sing the words that fast, enunciate them (in a second language no less), and do the choreography.  It might not work out on stage, which is too bad. 

Finland:  I guess the “happiest people in the world” like angry hard rock.  We do, too, but don’t find this a particularly good example of the genre. 

*Bulgaria: There is something very likable about this number that I can’t quite put my finger on, and the voters in the second semifinal must have felt it, too to send her on.  She has one of the better female voices, and doesn’t need gimmicks (I'm looking at you, Azerbaijan).  Just good simple singing that tells the story extremely well.

Lithuania:  The song by itself was speechlessly bad and the official video was worse.  The live performance was a actually better, and really had the crowd going, although not us.  Just not a fan of this kind of song.  We are very surprised this went through to the final, but apparently, they have a lot of fans. 

Ukraine:  The Eastern sounding music is quite interesting, but the constant screaming doesn’t enhance it.  “Couldn’t end fast enough,” says Gunnar.

*France:  Very, very, very, very, very French song, and a nice one at that.  I like her voice and her delivery, both of which are perfect for the song. Women balladeers seem to be faring better this year than the men, so she should do well.  In any event, I think the French singers and song writers to whom she pays tribute are being done proud. 

Azerbaijan:  If there were a prize for most banal lyrics, this song would win hands down.  It’s too bad, because the music sounds like it comes from the Caucasus, and that usually lends an appealing quality. But this Ariana Grande knock-off number is of the same quality as the $5 "Gucci" handbags you buy from a blanket on the sidewalk on Canal Street in New York City.  And by the way, when you need all those electronic enhancements to your song, it means your voice is crap.  And your mangey little song, too.
PS:  As the commentator on Swedish TV pointed out, Mata Hari was a Dutch woman acting as a spy for Germany during World War I.  Did Azerbaijan think this one through before presenting the song in Rotterdam?  Nobody tell them and let's see how long it takes for them to figure it out.

*Norway:  Ok, so this song is a little formulaic, too, but there is something very likable about it, even though it’s not a show stopper.   He sang extremely well in the semi, surpassing what he did in the video.  I liked the staging.  The story of why he calls himself “Tix” is worth looking up. 

*The Netherlands:  One of our favorites and is high up on our top 10.  For one thing, it’s unique in the competition for its use of those “rebellious” African rhythms.  We also like his voice.  Watch the video for what would have been his 2020 entry; it shows how good his voice is.  Would it be rude for the host country to win again?

Italy: See Finland.  Ditto, except for the happy people part. 

*Sweden:  Ok, maybe a teensy bit of bias here.  This is not Sweden’s strongest Eurovision entry ever, but it is a solid performance of a solid song, even if it is pretty typical in many ways of the output from Sweden’s Södertälje Factory.  It would have been a national tragedy had he not qualified.  How Tusse showed up in Sweden alone several years ago and now represents it in Eurovision is an amazing story.  And he’s from Leksand!  Gunnar sager, “Mormor skulle säga Sverige är kaput.”  It’s not that bad.

San Marino:  This is not the worst song in the competition (that honor goes to Latvia this year we think), but it is certainly up there.  Without Flo Rida, she would be on her way home by now for sure.  He saved this “ten-a-penny” disaster.   Gunnar says, “What a waste of cute boys."