EUROVISION 2019
Welcome to Radio Free Järbo's annual round up of every Eurovision Entry in the contest. To get the expert and witty critique you have come to know and love from us, our expert panel, made up of two of the most intelligent and opinionated people imaginable, watches each of the official videos as they were posted online in the middle of April. At that point, the field was finalized and the games could begin. We try to be as objective as possible, but as all things artistic, subjectivity does slip in here and there. Don't forget to tune in later when we'll have our prediction of the semi-finals and, of course, our live blogging during the final. Eurovision: it was made to be taken seriously, and yet, is the most fun thing to take the piss with ever invented. For a sarcastic cuss like me, it is heaven on earth to watch. Stay tuned, loyal fans!
Albania
Jonida Maligi
Ktheju tokës
There is much to like (the beat, the plaintive middle eastern music, her operatic but accessible voice) all of which makes it an interesting song to listen to. The video detracts from the song (her lips didn’t sync with the words, for example), although shows it is clearly dealing with an emotionally charged topic.
Armenia
Srbuk
Walking Out
I don’t think that this song knows quite what it is, although it does seem to start to find itself at the end. While we like her voice and wish she had something better. We think she’ll make it to the final.
Australia
Kate Miller-Heidke
Zero Gravity
We say “zero points.” After sending some really great songs to Eurovision, Australia has decided enough is enough; it’s time to send something really crappy (“and they did” Gunnar says). Quasi-opera doesn’t work at Eurovision (unless it’s a man singing falsetto). The staging in the video, which I hope they don’t do in Tel Aviv, is like Glenda the Good Witch trying to scare away the Wicked Witch of the West with bad singing. It may well have worked had the real Glenda tried using this song.
Austria
Paenda
Limits
There is nothing wrong with a slow beautiful song, but this one comes off as boring. Part of the problem is that her voice is really nice when she is singing in the lower register, but breaks up when she goes into a higher register, and this song requires her to sing in the upper. It also makes the words break up so you can’t really follow the lyrics either.
Azerbaijan
Chingiz
Truth
This is a fun song and has a nice dance beat that gets the crowd going. We don’t love it but it will get votes, especially if, like in the video, he sings it shirtless in Tel Aviv. The video totally makes no sense with the words, but he is so easy on the eyes it doesn’t matter. (Please tell me his name is pronounced “Chin Jizz”?)
Nominee: Best Looking Man.
Nominee: Best Beard.
Belarus
Zena
Like It
No, we didn’t like it at all. Well that’s not true, we liked the beat and liked that it was only three minutes long. Otherwise, we’ve heard all this before and done better. A tip from us: If you are going to have a song with this many words, then pronounce them.
Belgium
Eliot
Wake Up
While the song is different and has an interesting music (especially the instrumentals), it didn't wow us in the end. Will his voice carry in a big arena? The song may not work well outside of a studio.
Croatia
Roko
The Dream
The music here is nice and it’s a nice song that will stand out. It is one of those ballads that builds. We’re not sure his voice has the power to pull off the parts that need it. That said, he has one of the better voices, but one of the worst costumes in the video—those wings have got to go.
Cyprus
Tamta
Replay
As total crap goes, it’s not bad. As good songs go, it isn’t one I’d care to replay. Been there, done that, done it better, don’t want it again. Even the honey dripped hunks couldn’t save the ridiculous video.
Czech Republic
Lake Malawi
Friend of a Friend
As it I clearly a song for the younger crowd, it will likely stand out. Fun to dance to, it isn’t as much fun to sit and listen to. I like the voices and hope they get a good song one day. The video shows us everything that is wrong with the iPhone generation.
Denmark
Leonora
Love is Forever
The naive simplicity of this song is its strength. Her voice isn’t the best, but she sings the French well—and it fits her voice and the music better than the English lyrics do. It really should be sung all in French. That said, it is a refreshing change to have someone just sing and not rely on gimmicks.
Estonia
Victor Crone
Storm
Another simple yet musically pleasing song by a singer with a pleasing voice. I like that you can hear every word he sings. It’s a good song, not a great one. For such a small country, Estonia has a very deep bench of musical talent in all muscial genres.
Nominee: Best Looking Man
Finland
Darude
Look Away
Usually a good looking guy with a rock song is a real turn on, but even though this song has a nice beat it is a bit of a downer. I wanted more music and more singing. In the video, you can barely hear his voice over the background. Maybe it will be better live.
France
Bilal Hassani
Roi
When a French North African channels both Lady Gaga and Michael Jackson, good things can happen. The lyrics are moving and should speak to the Eurovision audience that likes the outsider. It will be very interesting to see how he does on stage as he seems to be a good performer and we suspect it will be an improvement over the video (which is good in itself).
Georgia
Oto Nesadze
Keep on Going
The eastern most countries in Eurovision often bring their unique musical style to the contest which is welcome. I like this for the most part for its emotional power, although it seems to speak to the audience in his homeland more strongly than to us. We don’t get it and therefore probably are missing out on the best part of the song, through no fault of our own or of the singer.
Germany
S!sters
Sister
Except for last year, the song from Germany is usually dismal, so it was a shock that we liked this song. Their voices are good and their harmony is really good. While this is not a bad son, a better song with more music to it would show off their voices better. Still, we liked it.
Greece
Katerine Duska
Better Love
She has an absolutely unique voice but it is wasted on this boring mess of a song. She is better than this. The video is totally incomprehensible. We see in her bio she is part Canadian. Oh, dear. Do we need another Celine Dion? (Answer: No.)
Hungary
Joci Papai
Az en Apam
Hungarian is beautiful when it is sung, and this song is no exception. The interesting music mixes the best of east and west in one of the nicer melodies in the competition. Read the words in English (if you don’t speak Hungarian), which are quite moving.
Nominee: Best Video
Iceland
Hatari
Hatrið mun sigra
Did we really just watch and listen to Depeche Mode on acid? Admittedly we are not into techno-electro-dystopian “music,” but there is little, if any, redeeming value in this song.
Ireland
Sarah McTernan
22
With a little 60’s vibe going on, this song is fun to listen to. She’s got the right voice for it as well. Hopefully Ireland can get at least into the final again. She’ll need to really sell it on stage, and I bet she can.
Israel
Kobi Marimi
Home
What a beautiful song—words and music—and Kobi does it just right. He lets the music build and is rides on its wave while staying in control. This could hardly be more different than the number Israel won with last year. This is the song they should have won with.
Italy
Mahmood
Soldi
We’re normally predisposed to liking the Italian entry but can’t quite bring ourselves to liking this one. It just doesn’t pull itself together very much. We called it “The Boy with the Cobra Tattoo.”
Latvia
Carousel
That Night
This simple song has a nice melody and music. The trio of musicians are good with the voice fitting the music. The lyrics are sophomoric and hold it back considerably, though.
Lithuania
Jurij Veklenko
Run with the Lions
The voice, the music, his stage presence, and the build up all work well in this song. It’s not the most unique song in the world, but it is done well for what it is. We like his voice better when he is not singing in the upper registers.
Nominee: Best Looking Man
Malta
Michela
Chameleon
Yeah, whatever. Dumb words, inane music, all done by formula. Within the first few lines we wondered if this was done by Södertälje Fabriken (a fictional song factory in Sweden), and there are indeed a couple of Swedes who wrote it. Kanske ingen svensk ville ha det till Melodifestivalen? Did all the Swedes turn it down?
Moldova
Anna Odobesu
Stay
She has one of the best female voices in the competition; most others don’t have the power they need. And she’ll need the power to do such an intimate song in an arena and be heard. The song is interesting; the music changes slightly to keep you a little on edge, which supports what the song means. Moldova always has a very strong entry it seems and this is no exception.
Montenegro
D Mol
Heaven
This song is kind of cute, as are the singers. OK, it is a little sappy and perky bouncy, but the voices are good both individually and blend incredibly well together, and are well suited to the music.
The Netherlands
Duncan Laurence
Arcade
There is a mysterious quality to the song which works well with the kind of voice he has. The music, though it draws you in, is a bit thin in places, and doesn’t leave you with much of an impact being made.
North Macedonia
Tamara Todevska
Proud
Wow. If I had a daughter, I would play this song for her everyday, maybe even twice a day. What a great song, great music, and a great voice to deliver it. She nails it. The lyrics, timely AF, are very moving, even to this all male audience. A very pleasant surprise, and quite frankly, could be a dark horse spoiler for the favorites. If this doesn’t do very, very well in Eurovision, we may stop watching it. (Yes, it is that good.)
Norway
Keiino
Spirit in the Sky
The song has got a beat, some lyrics, and that’s about it. The best part about it is the Sami rap. The rest we’ve all heard before.
Poland
Tulia
Fire of Love
If the group the B 52s drank a whole case of Kettle One then sang Polish folk music, this would be the result. I hope at the end of the video is the piano on fire was used to write this song.
Portugal
Conan Osiris
Telemoveis
I’m not sure what we just saw or heard. Too stunned to even insult it. Iceland will have company in the WTF competition.
Romania
Ester Peony
On a Sunday
It’s a bad when a native speaker of English (i.e. yours truly) doesn’t know she is singing in English until well into the song. That’s bad singing. Not a great voice and not a good song any day of the week.
Russia
Sergey Lazarev
Scream
He’s got the power and the voice and the sex appeal. What he doesn’t have is a great song, even though it does have some nice musical passages. The problem is that the music is a little all over the place, as are the lyrics, so that the song doesn’t really come together to a coherent whole in spite of all the effort he puts in to singing it. I suspect the Russians fielded him because they really want to win this year. I'm not sure it will, as it is not all together strong enough to overcome the political feelings in much of Europe about Russia these days.
San Marino
Serhat
Say Na Na Na
Say what? I suppose you could have fun dancing to this song, but the fun all stops when you listen to the lyrics that don’t really make sense. What’s wrong with having actual words in songs, unless “na na na” means something in Turkish or Italian. Gunnar says, “Stick to dentistry; it causes less pain.” (Serhat has trained as a dentist.)
Serbia
Nevena Bozovic
Kruna
We’re always a sucker for a good Balkan ballad and this song has many of the qualities we like in them. Her voice is pretty good, but doesn’t always quite have all the power needed for the song, at least in the video. Overall, it is pretty good and worth a listen.
Slovenia
Zala Kralj and Gasper Santl
Sebi
The music is engaging and the beat draws you in. But the singing is a bit “anemic” says Gunnar, too unidimensional say I. They are billed as a duo but we didn’t hear a second voice. I think the song would have benefited by adding some harmony.
Spain
Miki
La Venda
This song has a lot of what Latin music is known for—the beat, the exuberance, a get up and dance quality. It is fun to listen to but not exceptional or memorable.
Sweden
John Lundvik
Is It Too Late for Love
Nice song, catchy beat, and good voice, but it is the gospel singers that make this something special. (Personally, I could have had more of them.) Their quality takes this song in a direction Eurovision rarely goes, so it will stand out in the crowd this year. We don’t know if it is too late for love but it might not be too early for SVT to look at their calendars for May 2020.
Switzerland
Luca Hanno
She Got Me
So let me see if I can sum this up. You’ve got a Swiss guy singing like an Africa American posing as an Argentine singing a song with a Caribbean beat. The inane lyrics aside, the catchiness of the tune will win the hearts of the Eurovision audience, even if Luca’s looks was the only thing that caught ours.
United Kingdom
Michael Rice
Bigger than Us
We have to admit, that we like the song. While his voice lets him down in the video here and there, for the most part he handles the power sections and the softer sections well. And he sells the song like nobody’s business. The problem is that the UK could send Adele and no one in Europe would vote for them, but at least this does the UK proud (in days they have little to brag about).
