lördag, maj 13, 2023

 The Results of the Radio Free Järbo Jury

12 Points    Italy

10 Points    Belgium

 8 Points    Portugal

 7 Points    Estonia

 6 Points    Lithuania

 5 Points    Switzerland

 4 Points    Slovenia

 3 Points    France

 2 Points    Ukraine

 1 Point    Cyprus



söndag, maj 07, 2023

Radio Free Järbo's Guide to Eurovision 2023

The Coronation Edition

Last week, European heads of state gathered in London for the King's coronation.  All of that was merely the warm up for this week when European musical royalty convenes in Liverpool to crown the king or queen or both of Eurovision.  Imagine, the Eurovision coronation will be longer that that other one, if that's possible.  And there will be music that is just as good (although the Alleluia by the gospel choir was a knockout).  Unfortunately, we won't have the king's hunky equerry Johnny Thompson on stage the whole time but I'm sure it will still come out just fine.  

Otherwise, here it is, folks, the annual, hotly awaited Radio Free Järbo Guide to all the songs in Eurovision.  Don't know who to vote for?  Don't worry.  Just do was we tell you and all will go just fine.  

 


🇦🇱*Albania  

Albina and Familja Kelmendi 

“Duje” 

I really like that the Albanians almost always sing in their own language and use the plaintive Balkan tones in pop music settings.  It really sets their songs apart.  It’s just that I generally don’t like what Albania typically sends.  Thankfully, this song is an exception.  The vocals are strong vocals, and the beat is really catchy.  I love that she has her family with her.  It was great in the video and even better on stage.  I'm glad they made it through to the final.  


🇦🇲Armenia

Brunette

“Future Lover”

Well, at least I like the piano and there are parts of it that do catch your attention.  But at the end of the day, the song doesn’t hang together any better musically than whatever that outfit is that she is wearing in the video does sartorially.  Kind of forgettable.  What was I writing about again?  She gives it a good performance in the semi-final at least.  


🇦🇺Australia

Voyager

“Promise”

This sort of reminds me of the Thompson Twins, but only if they were on acid.  It’s OK as rock goes, but not great rock.  I mean, you can listen to it, but it doesn’t come across as very original or different.  That’s a surprise, because I would have expected better from Australia.  When they did it live in the first semi-final, though, it seemed to "rock" more than in the video, which helped, and is likely why they made it through to the final.  


🇦🇹Austria

Tea and Salena

“Who the Hell is Edgar?”

This is the kind of song you don’t really like, but you might dance to it at a bar when you’re too drunk to keep going but neither you and nor your partner want to be the one to suggest you sit down.  So you’re glad for a good beat to make it easier to just go through the motions.  Were I Edgar and I wrote this song, I’d prefer to stay anonymous.  Fun video, though.  You should watch it.  They managed to bring some of the fun of the video in their stage performance, but it didn't work for me.   


🇦🇿Azerbaijan

TuralTuranX

“Tell Me More”

I like the voices of these singing brothers.  The problem is that the best parts of this song are when they are singing together, because they harmonize well.  They would have been better with a song that allowed them to work that harmony much more than this weak vehicle does. It’s just an OK song, and they didn't project out on the stage as much as they did in the video.  


🇧🇪*Belgium

Gustaph

“Because of You”

I know I fault some of the songs in Eurovision as "been there, done that." And while you can say that about this song, the unmitigated fun of it wins the day anyway.  This sounds like a like a song from the 80’s when a disco-diva (or drag queen) would have belted it out, right down to the beat.  (I dare you not to tap your foot.)  Gustaph channels every disco diva he has ever heard in his performance on the video, and makes it a lot of fun.  The staging, although simple enough, was perfect for the song and celebrated the fun of it.  I loved his outfit--I was as if they were making a musical out of the Father Brown Mysteries on BBC where Father Brown comes out and trades in his cassock for this.  


🇭🇷Croatia

Let 3

“Mama ŠČ”

Don’t ask me.  I haven’t got a clue (even after reading the translation of the lyrics) and don’t like the song enough to want to get a clue.  How they got sent through to the final is just beyond me to explain.


🇨🇾*Cyprus

Andrew Lambrou

“Break a Broken Heart”

It’s a really nice little song, which he sings really well.  And, he’s cute.  I wish the music didn’t drown out this voice as much as it does in the video, though.  He had some of the same issues in the live staging.  Australia (where the bio says he lives) should have sent him instead of the act they did. 


🇨🇿Czechia

Vesna

“My Sister’s Crown”

Disorganized mess, even if the message might be important.  Only the video is worse than the song.  The staging redeemed it a little bit, but still not my cup of tea.


🇩🇰Denmark

Reily

“Breaking My Heart”

This song and performance is all just too teeny-bopper for my taste. I really hate all the electronics mixed into the banal vocals.  As predicted, it is Denmark that is heartbroken that he got sent home.  


🇪🇪*Estonia

Alika

“Bridges”

There is something about the way she sings this very simple, well constructed song that is completely engaging.  It is just right for her crisp, clear voice.  The video almost detracted from it.  And as much as I loved how she sang it on the video, her live performance in the semi-final was even better.  One of our favourites. And she's in the final! 


🇫🇮Finland

Käärija

Cha Cha Cha

This pretty much defies description. WTF with the WWF in the video?  Not sure what the stagin was about.  


🇫🇷*France

La Zaire

“Évidemment”

If Edith Piaf sang a disco classic while wearing a Coco Chanel dress (in the video), this would be the result.  It’s a great song and she has got just the right voice to pull it off.  Bravo to France for going back to its musical roots (after the mistake they made last year), successfully giving them a modern twist.  


🇬🇪Georgia

Iru

“Echo”

OK, whatever.  I just don’t like her voice, and because she has to more or less scream over the music to be heard, or chooses to scream, it just makes it worse.  The drums in the background music are really good though, and I kept wanting her to shut up so they could be heard better.


🇩🇪Germany

Lord of the Lost

“Blood and Glitter”

Did David Bowie have a baby with Satan?  I don’t like the way the song comes out in the official video.  Oddly, I saw a different version of it also online and it was actually a much better example of rock of its kind.  Let’s see how it comes out on the Eurovision stage. 


🇬🇷Greece

Victor Veronicas

“What They Say”

I can’t say I am the world’s biggest fan of his voice or of this song.  I kept looking away from the video and thinking how much Greece and Cyprus are in a battle of the young male singers this year.  So, if I’m doing that and writing notes while the song is playing, that’s not really good, is it?  On stage, what I assume was supposed to be choreography had him being a human pogo stick in a boy scout uniform.  But, he's all of 16.  I think another few years of experience and he'll be quite good.


🇮🇸Iceland

Diljá

“Power”

Not bad, not great.  She has a really nice presence in the video, less so on the live stage in the semi-final, but the song isn’t all that good, unfortunately.  I much prefer her voice better in the lower ranges where it has a richer tone.  Unfortunately, this song doesn’t need it, leaving one disappointed.  


🇮🇪*Ireland

Wild Youth

“We Are One”

Poor Ireland.  Even when they send a good song, at least in my humble opinion, Europe never votes for them.  I don’t understand why.  So I was almost hesitant to say how much I love this song, because it may jinx them.  And it did!  I like the rocking, little bit of U2 in their sound, and the lyrics work for their style.  Not a bad beat either.  The video was just awful, though, and the live staging wasn't much better.  They didn't seem to win over the audience. 


🇮🇱Israel

Noa Kirel

“Unicorn”

Here’s another singer with a lot of talent and an engaging presence, but the song, which started out with promise, ends up as pretty much total crap.  The fun video at least makes up for it.  I was hoping she could get the strings to play upside-down on the stage.  I didn't like it live.


🇮🇹*Italy

Marco Mengoni

“Due Vite”

Already a huge Marco Mengoni fan from his first outing at Eurovision, he could get onstage and sing the phone book and I’d swoon.  While not the best of all of the songs he has sung (and which I’ve bought), he is still a strong singer who sings the hell out of this one.  He doesn’t need back up or pyrotechnics to make an impression, just a microphone.  That he is easy on the eyes is frosting on the cake.


🇱🇻Latvia

Sudden Lights

“Aijā”

There is something very interesting about this song; it’s a little different, not quite a ballad, not quite a rock song, but not run of the mill either.   The video was weird and the song is better just when you listen to on its own.  I liked how they did it on stage, but Europe gave them a pass, unfortunately.  Songs that were far worse went through.  


🇱🇹Lithuania 

Monika Linkytė

“Stay”

Lithuania has sent some strong singers in the past, and here is another one.  I like the power she can give her voice when she needs to.  The backing vocals are a good match for her and they work beautifully together.  


🇲🇹Malta

The Busker

“Dance (Our Own Party)”

I’m not sure this song would have gotten such high marks from me without the saxophone.  But a big stage like Eurovision needs a lot of energy and hopefully these guys can knock it out of the park when it counts. There are some really fun parts to their video, as with their live performance, and sometimes, the music is about the fun.


🇲🇩Moldova

Pasha Parfeni

“Soarele şi Luna”

While the flutes in it are quite nice, the rest of it isn’t my cup of tea.  The video gave me a headache.  The live performance was a bit of a hot mess, and yet, Europe lapped it up apparently.  I'm still scratching my head over this one.


🇳🇱*Netherlands

Mia Nicolai and Dion Cooper

“Burning Daylight”

Every Eurovision needs at least one good male/female duet and this one is a knockout.  I like each of their voices separately, and when singing together the whole is greater than the sum of the two excellent parts  The song is musically intriguing but holds enough simplicity to let their voices do the work.  Probably our favorite, but as usual, deeming it so in advance of the competition doomed them to go down in flames in the semi-final.  This is really unfair as, like other good singers in that semi, they didn't get the votes the talent deserves.


🇳🇴Norway

Alessandra

“Queen of Kings”

I’ll need to get back to you on this one. It is for sure different and has a catchy beat (it’s a bit of an ear worm, too), but I’m not sure what it is about, either.  The video online on the Eurovision website is so weird, it actually detracts from the song.  The onstage performance was a little better, which isn't saying much.  


🇵🇱Poland

Blanka

“Solo”

Here is another song that isn’t quite my cup of tea in general, but which I think will do really well.  The beat is beyond catchy, and while the lyrics don’t quite approach high art, they make the point of the song quite well in a way that should hit home to a large number of people.  She needed to project a stage presence through the TV and into the audience to grab their attention as well as she does in the official video, and I think she succeeded.  She's a good performer.


🇵🇹*Portugal

Mimicat

“Ai Coração”

I love the Latin beat of this song and it was all I could do to not get up and dance to it.  The words are kind of fun as well, assuming the English translation does justice to the original Portuguese.  I wasn't sure if Europe will go for it, although they certainly did a few years ago with "Amor para dos."  But she made it through.  The energy of the live performance won the day, we think.    


🇷🇴Romania

Theodor Andrei

“D.G.T. (Off and on)”

There’s a vampy rock beat to this song that is very alluring and fun to listen to, which I presume is meant to go with the sexual innuendo of the lyrics.  I’m just not sure his voice is big enough to carry it off, which is too bad, because he is clearly feeling the music and enjoys acting it all out.  Wasn't sure about the pink shorts suit, though.  I think that was a miscalculation.  


🇸🇲San Marino

Piqued Jacks

“Like an Animal”

Some of the songs in Eurovision I have hated the most have represented San Marino.  This year they are continuing the tradition.  Dumb song, not much of a tune, and subpar performance.  There are much better rock entries this year.  


🇷🇸Serbia

Luke Black

“Samo Mi Se Spava”

This number is a way too electro-pop for me, not that that’s bad per se.  At the end, without the technology of the staging and electronically enhanced “music” (if I dare call it that), there isn’t really anything there, certainly not much singing.  It’s hard to tell if there are hints that there might even be a voice there if he tried—or it could just be that it is all electronic background noise because he can’t sing as well as he performs.  It’s probably not worth the effort to find out.  And what's up with the "Serbian on a Half Shell" staging?


🇸🇮*Slovenia

Joker Out

“Carpe Diem”

There is a fun energy to this song which, I supposed, is required for one that is basically about partying all night long.  I like their sound and the very catchy beat of the song itself.  Really gald they eked it out to make it to the final so we get to see it again.


🇪🇸Spain

Blanca Paloma

“Eaea”

I would normally like the flamenco-like sound of this song that showcases the influence of the Middle East in Spanish music.  But this doesn’t work for me—it’s a bit to avant-garde and not enough real vocals, just vocalizing.  


🇸🇪Sweden

Loreen

“Tattoo”

For me, it's hard to get high from recycled "Euphoria."  Look, I speak Swedish, go there often, have friends and cousins-in-law there.  But this song just isn’t as good as it as made out to be.  Vapid lyrics and not much music about sum this one up, and Sweden had much, much better songs from which to choose than this.  And can someone tell me why she is singing in a waffle iron?  The environmental activist who stormed the stage during her performance at Melodifestivalen should have been protesting the noise pollution of this dreadful song.  And yet, I have a dreadful feeling she just might win Eurovision again.  


🇨🇭Switzerland

Remo Forrer

 “Watergun”

Remo Forrer makes singing look easier than it is, and, in doing so, takes what would otherwise be just an OK song and makes it pretty good.  He’s got such good vocal control that the low registers come out as clear as the upper ones do.   Certain Europe will hate it, I was very glad to see he will go through to the final.  


🇺🇦*Ukraine

Tvorchi

“Heart of Steel”

Well, this could hardly be more different than the Ukrainian entry that won last year, and, musically at least, it is much more deserving of a win.  Great beat, great R&B/hiphop vibe, and words worth listening to.  It doesn’t get much better than this.


🇬🇧United Kingdom

Mae Muller

“I Wrote a Song”

It’s the lyrics that make this song, so if it is to be successful, she’s got to make sure we can hear the words clearly and still make it all work on the big stage.  I like the beat to the song, even if musically it isn’t very unique.  Still, another UK number that may—gasp!!—even get some points!  At least a single digit talley.  



måndag, maj 16, 2022

Eurovision 2022--The ESC Hangover Edition and Radio Free Järbo Awards


 It's all over now, and we have to wait another year, or so, for Eurovision to come around again.  With the Olympics, it's kind of a relief when it's all done.  Not so much with Eurovision--well except maybe for the endless process of the voting "parade of nations."   

Our Hangover Edition's Radio Free Järbo Awards


Best Looking Man

🇵🇱Poland
We were big fans of Ochman both in the looks and singing departments.  We were also taken by his very humble demeanour.  Not sure why Europe is so against anything that resembles an operatic voice, even when doing a pop song.  

Runner up:  Martin Österdahl, head of the ESC for the EBU, who can certify my votes any day of the week.  


Best Official Video

🇲🇩Moldova
These guys always seem to be having a lot of fun.  Wouldn't you just love to spend an afternoon in a bar with them?   If you haven't seen it, you really need to watch it.

Best Production Number

🇪🇸Spain
We did not like the song very much, but then again, she didn't really need it with all of that choreography.  Many commentators were saying how amazed they were that she could sing while doing those bends, twists, turns, and lifts.  I was amazed that she should do it all with that bejewelled thong up her crack.  

Best Dressed

🇱🇹Lithuania
I was, apparently, one of the few people who liked the song--a lot more live than her video.  And no one had a better dress, even if others were better coiffed.  Gunnar says, "She just needed Mo and Curly as her back up singers."

Worst Dressed

🇦🇱Albania

She is a beautiful woman, but this outfit just didn't work.  But then again, her male dancers were among the "Best Undressed." 

🇬🇧Runner up:  United Kingdom.  We all knew why Armenia was in her pyjamas, but why was the UK in in a grown up version of his son's?  


Best Song Not to Make It Out of the Semi-Finals

🇭🇷Croatia
While the song was too sweet to be much of a "guilty pleasure" itself, it certainly was better than the votes given to it during the semi-finals.  Really Europe.  

🇧🇬Runner up:  Bulgaria.

Most Ironic Lyrics

🇬🇷Greece
Amanda, as you will recall, is in the last days of training as a doctor in Norway, so we found it ironic she picked just that song.  I am not sure that I would want to go to doctor who was in Eurovision singing the song "Die Together."  (But then again, I live in Canada where we have no doctors, so I still might go to her, but that's a different kind of problem.)


söndag, maj 08, 2022

Radio Free Järbo's Eurovision 2022 Commentary

 


Here is the round up of our opinion of all of the Eurovision 2022 entries.  We listened to the official videos for each entry as the basis of our highly qualified opinions.  If you disagree, then you’re just wrong.  It will be interesting to see how each of the participants does on the big stage itself.  An asterisk (*) indicates our Top 10, even though there may not be 10 of them.  


🇦🇱Albania

Ronela Hajati “Sekret”

I like the music from the Balkans with (what we think of as) its Eastern rhythms.  This song uses them effectively, as it does the catchy beat.  But overall, the song is a bit of a hot mess, not even saved by the hot guy in the pretty bazaar video. 


🇦🇲Armenia*

Rosa Linn “Snap”

This is a fun, bouncy little pop song, sung by an artist with a nice voice.  Even Gunnar liked it.  Neither of us felt that the Wizard of Oz inspired video did much for the song, and maybe even detracted from its pleasing simplicity.  


🇦🇺Australia*

Sheldon Riley “Not The Same”

Sheldon has the kind of voice that really makes you stop and listen to the words.  The meaning of the song is clear and very powerful, even if it is musically a little messy in places.  Australia has sent a good one.  


🇦🇹Austria

LUM!X feat. Pia Maria “Halo”

I pretty much hated it from the first note.  Every now and then it sounds like it just might actually break into a nice dance song, but then it disappoints and turns crappy again.  Gunnar  says, this shows the problem with “Abba English” lyrics, as “even the Australians” can do better.  Other than the snub to Australians, I agree.


🇦🇿Azerbaijan 

Nadir Rustamli “Fade To Black”

I kind of liked this nice ballad that Nadir signs well.  There is a certain amount of “we’ve heard this before” with the lyrics and music that Nadir manages overcome, at least to some degree.  “And he’s cute,” says Gunnar.  


🇧🇪Belgium* 

Jérémie Makiese “Miss You”

I love this song.  It grabs you from the very first moment Jérémie starts to sing and doesn’t let you go until the very last note.  Maybe even longer.  Great jazzy, bluesy, R&B vibe with a strong heart beat throughout.  It’s the complete package.  Gunnar says, “I think they sent a winner.”


🇧🇬Bulgaria

Intelligent Music Project “Intention”

I was hoping there would be a really good rock ballad this year.  I’m not sure this is it, even if it has a some good points.  The drummer is outstanding, as is the guitarist, but the signer isn’t the greatest.  A fun listen, nonetheless.  


🇭🇷Croatia

Mia Dimšić “Guilty Pleasure”

We liked that the song is simple and it suits her voice well.  The lyrics are intelligible, although I wish she would take more time to enunciate them a little better.  Twelve points (douze points) for the dancer in the video who stole the show.


🇨🇾Cyprus

Andromache “Ela”

Even though I could not stop tapping my foot to the catchy beat, when it was done, I turned to Gunnar and said, “Haven’t we heard this before?”  He said, “I think.”  No, we hadn’t actually heard this song before, but it just sounds like we have.   Luckily, they’ll have the traditional 12 points from Greece.


🇨🇿Czech Republic

We Are Domi “Lights Off”

I kind of like this song, with its great beat that you can get up and dance to.  “It’s a successful song,” says Gunnar.  The video makes no sense, but that’s OK.  The song does.  


🇩🇰Denmark

REDDI  “The Show”

What was I saying about a good rock ballad?  I really liked the beginning of the song, and was surprised when it morphed into a great rock song.  The energy in the song is infectious and made us smile.  Gunnar thought the lyrics were a little too repetitious and could have been used better to tell the story, with which I agree, even though I liked the concept of “the show.”  We both hope they do well.  


🇪🇪Estonia 

Stefan “Hope”

I kind of like the song, and then again, I kind of don’t.  I’m not sure what the video and the lyrics have to do with each other, even if the video was produced well, and it might be that the watching the video has taken away from what the song really is about.  Interesting music and beat, I guess.


🇫🇮Finland

The Rasmus “Jezebel”

When Finland rocks, it rocks.  I thought the song was fun and liked the concept.  But I found its musical construction a little off-putting.  Gunnar says, “Finnish charm playing tigers.”  He would like to see less theatre and more honesty, although the theatre may have been in the video and not the song itself.  


🇫🇷France

Alvan & Ahez  “Fulenn”

Gunnar says, “It’s a train wreck; it’s awful, but you can’t take your eyes off it.”  I wished it was as pleasing as a train wreck; especially after the sublime submission France sent last year.  Even the cute guy can’t salvage it.  France should embrace the influences from the North African community that enrich its culture, but maybe not quite in this way.  Too bad, because Breton, the language of the song, has very few speakers and should be preserved.  


🇬🇪Georgia

Circus Mircus “Lock Me In”

Gunnar said, “They didn’t use their full three minutes?”  I replied, “No, thank God.”  The song is different, yes, and has a catchy beat, for sure.  But I kept waiting for it to turn into something I could tolerate.  It just didn’t.  


🇩🇪Germany*

Malik Harris “Rockstars”

It’s funny.  The song starts and I was thinking, ‘we’ve heard this before,’ but Malik’s sincerity makes you continue to listen.  While not a fan of rap in the middle of a song (either rap the whole thing or not at all), it works here, largely because of the moving message of the lyrics.  Gunnar even liked it.  


🇬🇷Greece

Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord “Die Together”

We are not quite sure what to think.  I like her voice, but don’t like the phrasing she uses, especially in the beginning.  The song builds throughout, which it needs to do to convey its message.  I think it is trying to be hopeful, but is still a bit of a downer.  Gunnar thinks the lyricist needs psychological help.  I say, after these past two years, we all do.  


🇮🇸Iceland

Systur “Með Hækkandi Sól”

These are three good singers, with voices that blend perfectly with spot on harmonies.  The song itself is not your usual Eurovision fare.  Still, I didn’t love it.  Gunnar thinks it won’t get a lot of votes.  


🇮🇪Ireland 

Brooke “That’s Rich”

Ireland decided they were sick of sending great songs that no one voted for, so this year they’ve decided to send total crap to see if they get votes.  To this end, someone decided to put banal lyrics to a rejected Erasure backing track and call it “new.”  Whatever.


🇮🇱Israel

Michael Ben David  “I.M”

Michael is so charming and fun to watch in the video, with all of his great facial expressions, that you overlook the fact that the song—meaningful message and all—is still just one really big hot mess.  


🇮🇹Italy 

Mahmood & Blanco “Brividi”

Well, this is certainly quite different from last year’s submission from Italy, isn’t it?  It is a typical Italian ballad in many ways.  Of course, you have to work at it to make Italian sound anything but captivating when sung (with which Måneskin succeeded).  I like both voices whether singing independently or when together.  Gunnar says this showcases Mahmood’s voice better than his earlier Eurovision entry “Soldi.” 


🇱🇻Latvia

Citi Zēni “Eat Your Salad”

Did Latvia send to Eurovision a song written for a children’s show about the benefits of being vegan?  That’s how this super high energy song comes across, except for the part about being green being sexy, which wouldn’t be appropriate for young children.  And yet, I can’t hate it, much as it left me scratching my head in wonder.


🇱🇹Lithuania 

Monika Liu “Sentimentai”

I kind of like Monika’s voice and really like the style of music.  But something about this number just doesn’t work for me; it just doesn’t seem to pull together in the end.  


🇲🇹Malta*

Emma Muscat  “I Am What I Am”

We think Malta has good taste in its entries.  We really liked this song that put a smile on our faces.  Could you call it trite?  Maybe.  But it still makes you smile, and its positive message can’t be overdone, especially at Eurovision


🇲🇩Moldova: 

Zdob şi Zdub & Frații Advahov  “Trenulețul”

It’s too bad there isn’t a prize for best video, because the brilliant official video for this song is really very funny and charming.  The song itself needs the video, we think.  If they can take all of the energy in the video onto the stage in Torino, they’ll have a chance, though.  


🇲🇪Montenegro

Vladana “Breathe”

Vladana has a great voice, and sings in the tradition of the better Balkan entries, where they know how to sing out a ballad.  But I think the song itself is just OK.  Gunnar says that he respects that they continue to send entries that are true to themselves and their musical traditions.  I agree. 

 

🇳🇱Netherlands 

S10  “De Diepte”

We liked this interesting song, which matches her voice perfectly.  The mood the music sets is haunting and captivating, even if you don’t speak the language of the lyrics.  It should do well.


🇲🇰North Macedonia

Andreas “Circles”

Andreas has got a really good voice with good depth and she delivers this decent song well.  It won’t win but will add to a good show.  The compelling video was really simple and allowed her to just carry the song. Gunnar kind of liked it.  North Macedonia has high standards for its entries, and this is no exception.   


🇳🇴Norway 

Subwoolfer “Give That Wolf A Banana”

I’m a little speechless.  Either Norway has gone completely “bananas” or this is a practical joke in order to take the major piss at Eurovision.  Yes, the beat is catchy, and is a bit slick.  And look, I always say that I want something different.  But while others are raving, I’m not sure I like it, even as satire.  I prefer substance over gimmicks.  


🇵🇱Poland*

Krystian Ochman  “River”

This is just the kind of song we needed after listening to Norway.  As a trained singer (now there’s a concept) Krystian has a gorgeous, strong voice that he can control.  (And he is as easy on the eyes as he is on the ears, but we digress.)  Really powerful and enjoyable.  


🇵🇹Portugal

MARO “Saudade Saudade”

The beauty of this song is in its simplicity and the quality of the harmonies when they all sing together.  The lead singer, unfortunately, is quite weak.  


🇷🇴Romania

WRS “Llámame”

It takes skill to sing a Latin dance song so poorly that I absolutely hate it, and here, they have done it.  His stage presence ruined the song, which is pretty bad itself, actually.  Even the quasi-hunky dancers in all but see through tops couldn’t save the risible production number.


🇸🇲San Marino

Achille Lauro “Stripper”

My vote:  Keep your clothes on and your mouth shut.  Gunnar: San Marino should have saved their money.  


🇷🇸Serbia

Konstrakta “In Corpore Sano”

I’m sure this song means something significant to the Serbians, but even reading the English lyrics, it was indecipherable.   Too bad the melody isn’t very pleasant to listen to, because it would make up for the total miss on the words.


🇸🇮Slovenia 

LPS “Disko”

Here’s the thing:  The song is catchy and the backing musicians are wonderful.  The problem is that the lead singer can’t carry it.  Let’s hope he has been practicing his stage presence and has been getting vocal coaching leading up to Eurovision.  Then it could be really fun.  


🇪🇸Spain

Chanel “SloMo”

Before playing this for the first time, I said to Gunnar that the entry from Spain is either “Stop going to Eurovision!” or  “They can do it if they try!”  This is the former.  Calling it vapidly without substance is about the highest praise I can give it.  Gunnar says “Formulaic and cheap, and I mean cheap in all ways.”  I say, formulaic is probably giving it too much credit.  


🇸🇪Sweden

Cornelia Jakobs “Hold Me Closer”

As much as I like the raspiness of her voice, there is just something missing from the whole package here.  For one thing, I would have her hold the microphone further from her mouth.  The song itself is pleasing enough, but not a knockout compared to many of the other songs here.


🇨🇭Switzerland*

Marius Bear “Boys Do Cry”

I really like the 50’s style beat of this song, with it’s hint of blues in it.  Marius has the perfect voice to pull it off as well.  The whole package really works here.  I loved its charm.


🇺🇦Ukraine

Kalush Orchestra “Stefania”

The people on the stage performing the number had more fun with it than I did.  Gunnar said, “Great dance party, but…”. It’s OK to mix musical styles, but it doesn’t work here.  


🇬🇧United Kingdom*

Sam Ryder “SPACE MAN”

It almost doesn’t matter what we say about this song; no one in Europe is going to vote for it.  The UK is last alphabetically, and often last in points.  The video was clever and fun, so it will be interesting to see what he does on stage to replicate the experience of it. That said, I like the song a lot.  It deserves some points people, so keep that in mind, OK?