Radio Free Järbo's Guide to Eurovision 2023
The Coronation Edition
🇦🇱*Albania
Albina and Familja Kelmendi
“Duje”
I really like that the Albanians almost always sing in their own language and use the plaintive Balkan tones in pop music settings. It really sets their songs apart. It’s just that I generally don’t like what Albania typically sends. Thankfully, this song is an exception. The vocals are strong vocals, and the beat is really catchy. I love that she has her family with her. It was great in the video and even better on stage. I'm glad they made it through to the final.
🇦🇲Armenia
Brunette
“Future Lover”
Well, at least I like the piano and there are parts of it that do catch your attention. But at the end of the day, the song doesn’t hang together any better musically than whatever that outfit is that she is wearing in the video does sartorially. Kind of forgettable. What was I writing about again? She gives it a good performance in the semi-final at least.
🇦🇺Australia
Voyager
“Promise”
This sort of reminds me of the Thompson Twins, but only if they were on acid. It’s OK as rock goes, but not great rock. I mean, you can listen to it, but it doesn’t come across as very original or different. That’s a surprise, because I would have expected better from Australia. When they did it live in the first semi-final, though, it seemed to "rock" more than in the video, which helped, and is likely why they made it through to the final.
🇦🇹Austria
Tea and Salena
“Who the Hell is Edgar?”
This is the kind of song you don’t really like, but you might dance to it at a bar when you’re too drunk to keep going but neither you and nor your partner want to be the one to suggest you sit down. So you’re glad for a good beat to make it easier to just go through the motions. Were I Edgar and I wrote this song, I’d prefer to stay anonymous. Fun video, though. You should watch it. They managed to bring some of the fun of the video in their stage performance, but it didn't work for me.
🇦🇿Azerbaijan
TuralTuranX
“Tell Me More”
I like the voices of these singing brothers. The problem is that the best parts of this song are when they are singing together, because they harmonize well. They would have been better with a song that allowed them to work that harmony much more than this weak vehicle does. It’s just an OK song, and they didn't project out on the stage as much as they did in the video.
🇧🇪*Belgium
Gustaph
“Because of You”
I know I fault some of the songs in Eurovision as "been there, done that." And while you can say that about this song, the unmitigated fun of it wins the day anyway. This sounds like a like a song from the 80’s when a disco-diva (or drag queen) would have belted it out, right down to the beat. (I dare you not to tap your foot.) Gustaph channels every disco diva he has ever heard in his performance on the video, and makes it a lot of fun. The staging, although simple enough, was perfect for the song and celebrated the fun of it. I loved his outfit--I was as if they were making a musical out of the Father Brown Mysteries on BBC where Father Brown comes out and trades in his cassock for this.
🇭🇷Croatia
Let 3
“Mama ŠČ”
Don’t ask me. I haven’t got a clue (even after reading the translation of the lyrics) and don’t like the song enough to want to get a clue. How they got sent through to the final is just beyond me to explain.
🇨🇾*Cyprus
Andrew Lambrou
“Break a Broken Heart”
It’s a really nice little song, which he sings really well. And, he’s cute. I wish the music didn’t drown out this voice as much as it does in the video, though. He had some of the same issues in the live staging. Australia (where the bio says he lives) should have sent him instead of the act they did.
🇨🇿Czechia
Vesna
“My Sister’s Crown”
Disorganized mess, even if the message might be important. Only the video is worse than the song. The staging redeemed it a little bit, but still not my cup of tea.
🇩🇰Denmark
Reily
“Breaking My Heart”
This song and performance is all just too teeny-bopper for my taste. I really hate all the electronics mixed into the banal vocals. As predicted, it is Denmark that is heartbroken that he got sent home.
🇪🇪*Estonia
Alika
“Bridges”
There is something about the way she sings this very simple, well constructed song that is completely engaging. It is just right for her crisp, clear voice. The video almost detracted from it. And as much as I loved how she sang it on the video, her live performance in the semi-final was even better. One of our favourites. And she's in the final!
🇫🇮Finland
Käärija
Cha Cha Cha
This pretty much defies description. WTF with the WWF in the video? Not sure what the stagin was about.
🇫🇷*France
La Zaire
“Évidemment”
If Edith Piaf sang a disco classic while wearing a Coco Chanel dress (in the video), this would be the result. It’s a great song and she has got just the right voice to pull it off. Bravo to France for going back to its musical roots (after the mistake they made last year), successfully giving them a modern twist.
🇬🇪Georgia
Iru
“Echo”
OK, whatever. I just don’t like her voice, and because she has to more or less scream over the music to be heard, or chooses to scream, it just makes it worse. The drums in the background music are really good though, and I kept wanting her to shut up so they could be heard better.
🇩🇪Germany
Lord of the Lost
“Blood and Glitter”
Did David Bowie have a baby with Satan? I don’t like the way the song comes out in the official video. Oddly, I saw a different version of it also online and it was actually a much better example of rock of its kind. Let’s see how it comes out on the Eurovision stage.
🇬🇷Greece
Victor Veronicas
“What They Say”
I can’t say I am the world’s biggest fan of his voice or of this song. I kept looking away from the video and thinking how much Greece and Cyprus are in a battle of the young male singers this year. So, if I’m doing that and writing notes while the song is playing, that’s not really good, is it? On stage, what I assume was supposed to be choreography had him being a human pogo stick in a boy scout uniform. But, he's all of 16. I think another few years of experience and he'll be quite good.
🇮🇸Iceland
Diljá
“Power”
Not bad, not great. She has a really nice presence in the video, less so on the live stage in the semi-final, but the song isn’t all that good, unfortunately. I much prefer her voice better in the lower ranges where it has a richer tone. Unfortunately, this song doesn’t need it, leaving one disappointed.
🇮🇪*Ireland
Wild Youth
“We Are One”
Poor Ireland. Even when they send a good song, at least in my humble opinion, Europe never votes for them. I don’t understand why. So I was almost hesitant to say how much I love this song, because it may jinx them. And it did! I like the rocking, little bit of U2 in their sound, and the lyrics work for their style. Not a bad beat either. The video was just awful, though, and the live staging wasn't much better. They didn't seem to win over the audience.
🇮🇱Israel
Noa Kirel
“Unicorn”
Here’s another singer with a lot of talent and an engaging presence, but the song, which started out with promise, ends up as pretty much total crap. The fun video at least makes up for it. I was hoping she could get the strings to play upside-down on the stage. I didn't like it live.
🇮🇹*Italy
Marco Mengoni
“Due Vite”
Already a huge Marco Mengoni fan from his first outing at Eurovision, he could get onstage and sing the phone book and I’d swoon. While not the best of all of the songs he has sung (and which I’ve bought), he is still a strong singer who sings the hell out of this one. He doesn’t need back up or pyrotechnics to make an impression, just a microphone. That he is easy on the eyes is frosting on the cake.
🇱🇻Latvia
Sudden Lights
“Aijā”
There is something very interesting about this song; it’s a little different, not quite a ballad, not quite a rock song, but not run of the mill either. The video was weird and the song is better just when you listen to on its own. I liked how they did it on stage, but Europe gave them a pass, unfortunately. Songs that were far worse went through.
🇱🇹Lithuania
Monika Linkytė
“Stay”
Lithuania has sent some strong singers in the past, and here is another one. I like the power she can give her voice when she needs to. The backing vocals are a good match for her and they work beautifully together.
🇲🇹Malta
The Busker
“Dance (Our Own Party)”
I’m not sure this song would have gotten such high marks from me without the saxophone. But a big stage like Eurovision needs a lot of energy and hopefully these guys can knock it out of the park when it counts. There are some really fun parts to their video, as with their live performance, and sometimes, the music is about the fun.
🇲🇩Moldova
Pasha Parfeni
“Soarele şi Luna”
While the flutes in it are quite nice, the rest of it isn’t my cup of tea. The video gave me a headache. The live performance was a bit of a hot mess, and yet, Europe lapped it up apparently. I'm still scratching my head over this one.
🇳🇱*Netherlands
Mia Nicolai and Dion Cooper
“Burning Daylight”
Every Eurovision needs at least one good male/female duet and this one is a knockout. I like each of their voices separately, and when singing together the whole is greater than the sum of the two excellent parts The song is musically intriguing but holds enough simplicity to let their voices do the work. Probably our favorite, but as usual, deeming it so in advance of the competition doomed them to go down in flames in the semi-final. This is really unfair as, like other good singers in that semi, they didn't get the votes the talent deserves.
🇳🇴Norway
Alessandra
“Queen of Kings”
I’ll need to get back to you on this one. It is for sure different and has a catchy beat (it’s a bit of an ear worm, too), but I’m not sure what it is about, either. The video online on the Eurovision website is so weird, it actually detracts from the song. The onstage performance was a little better, which isn't saying much.
🇵🇱Poland
Blanka
“Solo”
Here is another song that isn’t quite my cup of tea in general, but which I think will do really well. The beat is beyond catchy, and while the lyrics don’t quite approach high art, they make the point of the song quite well in a way that should hit home to a large number of people. She needed to project a stage presence through the TV and into the audience to grab their attention as well as she does in the official video, and I think she succeeded. She's a good performer.
🇵🇹*Portugal
Mimicat
“Ai Coração”
I love the Latin beat of this song and it was all I could do to not get up and dance to it. The words are kind of fun as well, assuming the English translation does justice to the original Portuguese. I wasn't sure if Europe will go for it, although they certainly did a few years ago with "Amor para dos." But she made it through. The energy of the live performance won the day, we think.
🇷🇴Romania
Theodor Andrei
“D.G.T. (Off and on)”
There’s a vampy rock beat to this song that is very alluring and fun to listen to, which I presume is meant to go with the sexual innuendo of the lyrics. I’m just not sure his voice is big enough to carry it off, which is too bad, because he is clearly feeling the music and enjoys acting it all out. Wasn't sure about the pink shorts suit, though. I think that was a miscalculation.
🇸🇲San Marino
Piqued Jacks
“Like an Animal”
Some of the songs in Eurovision I have hated the most have represented San Marino. This year they are continuing the tradition. Dumb song, not much of a tune, and subpar performance. There are much better rock entries this year.
🇷🇸Serbia
Luke Black
“Samo Mi Se Spava”
This number is a way too electro-pop for me, not that that’s bad per se. At the end, without the technology of the staging and electronically enhanced “music” (if I dare call it that), there isn’t really anything there, certainly not much singing. It’s hard to tell if there are hints that there might even be a voice there if he tried—or it could just be that it is all electronic background noise because he can’t sing as well as he performs. It’s probably not worth the effort to find out. And what's up with the "Serbian on a Half Shell" staging?
🇸🇮*Slovenia
Joker Out
“Carpe Diem”
There is a fun energy to this song which, I supposed, is required for one that is basically about partying all night long. I like their sound and the very catchy beat of the song itself. Really gald they eked it out to make it to the final so we get to see it again.
🇪🇸Spain
Blanca Paloma
“Eaea”
I would normally like the flamenco-like sound of this song that showcases the influence of the Middle East in Spanish music. But this doesn’t work for me—it’s a bit to avant-garde and not enough real vocals, just vocalizing.
🇸🇪Sweden
Loreen
“Tattoo”
For me, it's hard to get high from recycled "Euphoria." Look, I speak Swedish, go there often, have friends and cousins-in-law there. But this song just isn’t as good as it as made out to be. Vapid lyrics and not much music about sum this one up, and Sweden had much, much better songs from which to choose than this. And can someone tell me why she is singing in a waffle iron? The environmental activist who stormed the stage during her performance at Melodifestivalen should have been protesting the noise pollution of this dreadful song. And yet, I have a dreadful feeling she just might win Eurovision again.
🇨🇭Switzerland
Remo Forrer
“Watergun”
Remo Forrer makes singing look easier than it is, and, in doing so, takes what would otherwise be just an OK song and makes it pretty good. He’s got such good vocal control that the low registers come out as clear as the upper ones do. Certain Europe will hate it, I was very glad to see he will go through to the final.
🇺🇦*Ukraine
Tvorchi
“Heart of Steel”
Well, this could hardly be more different than the Ukrainian entry that won last year, and, musically at least, it is much more deserving of a win. Great beat, great R&B/hiphop vibe, and words worth listening to. It doesn’t get much better than this.
🇬🇧United Kingdom
Mae Muller
“I Wrote a Song”
It’s the lyrics that make this song, so if it is to be successful, she’s got to make sure we can hear the words clearly and still make it all work on the big stage. I like the beat to the song, even if musically it isn’t very unique. Still, another UK number that may—gasp!!—even get some points! At least a single digit talley.
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