Here is the round up of our opinion of all of the Eurovision 2022 entries. We listened to the official videos for each entry as the basis of our highly qualified opinions. If you disagree, then you’re just wrong. It will be interesting to see how each of the participants does on the big stage itself. An asterisk (*) indicates our Top 10, even though there may not be 10 of them.
🇦🇱Albania
Ronela Hajati “Sekret”
I like the music from the Balkans with (what we think of as) its Eastern rhythms. This song uses them effectively, as it does the catchy beat. But overall, the song is a bit of a hot mess, not even saved by the hot guy in the pretty bazaar video.
🇦🇲Armenia*
Rosa Linn “Snap”
This is a fun, bouncy little pop song, sung by an artist with a nice voice. Even Gunnar liked it. Neither of us felt that the Wizard of Oz inspired video did much for the song, and maybe even detracted from its pleasing simplicity.
🇦🇺Australia*
Sheldon Riley “Not The Same”
Sheldon has the kind of voice that really makes you stop and listen to the words. The meaning of the song is clear and very powerful, even if it is musically a little messy in places. Australia has sent a good one.
🇦🇹Austria
LUM!X feat. Pia Maria “Halo”
I pretty much hated it from the first note. Every now and then it sounds like it just might actually break into a nice dance song, but then it disappoints and turns crappy again. Gunnar says, this shows the problem with “Abba English” lyrics, as “even the Australians” can do better. Other than the snub to Australians, I agree.
🇦🇿Azerbaijan
Nadir Rustamli “Fade To Black”
I kind of liked this nice ballad that Nadir signs well. There is a certain amount of “we’ve heard this before” with the lyrics and music that Nadir manages overcome, at least to some degree. “And he’s cute,” says Gunnar.
🇧🇪Belgium*
Jérémie Makiese “Miss You”
I love this song. It grabs you from the very first moment Jérémie starts to sing and doesn’t let you go until the very last note. Maybe even longer. Great jazzy, bluesy, R&B vibe with a strong heart beat throughout. It’s the complete package. Gunnar says, “I think they sent a winner.”
🇧🇬Bulgaria
Intelligent Music Project “Intention”
I was hoping there would be a really good rock ballad this year. I’m not sure this is it, even if it has a some good points. The drummer is outstanding, as is the guitarist, but the signer isn’t the greatest. A fun listen, nonetheless.
🇭🇷Croatia
Mia Dimšić “Guilty Pleasure”
We liked that the song is simple and it suits her voice well. The lyrics are intelligible, although I wish she would take more time to enunciate them a little better. Twelve points (douze points) for the dancer in the video who stole the show.
🇨🇾Cyprus
Andromache “Ela”
Even though I could not stop tapping my foot to the catchy beat, when it was done, I turned to Gunnar and said, “Haven’t we heard this before?” He said, “I think.” No, we hadn’t actually heard this song before, but it just sounds like we have. Luckily, they’ll have the traditional 12 points from Greece.
🇨🇿Czech Republic
We Are Domi “Lights Off”
I kind of like this song, with its great beat that you can get up and dance to. “It’s a successful song,” says Gunnar. The video makes no sense, but that’s OK. The song does.
🇩🇰Denmark
REDDI “The Show”
What was I saying about a good rock ballad? I really liked the beginning of the song, and was surprised when it morphed into a great rock song. The energy in the song is infectious and made us smile. Gunnar thought the lyrics were a little too repetitious and could have been used better to tell the story, with which I agree, even though I liked the concept of “the show.” We both hope they do well.
🇪🇪Estonia
Stefan “Hope”
I kind of like the song, and then again, I kind of don’t. I’m not sure what the video and the lyrics have to do with each other, even if the video was produced well, and it might be that the watching the video has taken away from what the song really is about. Interesting music and beat, I guess.
🇫🇮Finland
The Rasmus “Jezebel”
When Finland rocks, it rocks. I thought the song was fun and liked the concept. But I found its musical construction a little off-putting. Gunnar says, “Finnish charm playing tigers.” He would like to see less theatre and more honesty, although the theatre may have been in the video and not the song itself.
🇫🇷France
Alvan & Ahez “Fulenn”
Gunnar says, “It’s a train wreck; it’s awful, but you can’t take your eyes off it.” I wished it was as pleasing as a train wreck; especially after the sublime submission France sent last year. Even the cute guy can’t salvage it. France should embrace the influences from the North African community that enrich its culture, but maybe not quite in this way. Too bad, because Breton, the language of the song, has very few speakers and should be preserved.
🇬🇪Georgia
Circus Mircus “Lock Me In”
Gunnar said, “They didn’t use their full three minutes?” I replied, “No, thank God.” The song is different, yes, and has a catchy beat, for sure. But I kept waiting for it to turn into something I could tolerate. It just didn’t.
🇩🇪Germany*
Malik Harris “Rockstars”
It’s funny. The song starts and I was thinking, ‘we’ve heard this before,’ but Malik’s sincerity makes you continue to listen. While not a fan of rap in the middle of a song (either rap the whole thing or not at all), it works here, largely because of the moving message of the lyrics. Gunnar even liked it.
🇬🇷Greece
Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord “Die Together”
We are not quite sure what to think. I like her voice, but don’t like the phrasing she uses, especially in the beginning. The song builds throughout, which it needs to do to convey its message. I think it is trying to be hopeful, but is still a bit of a downer. Gunnar thinks the lyricist needs psychological help. I say, after these past two years, we all do.
🇮🇸Iceland
Systur “Með Hækkandi Sól”
These are three good singers, with voices that blend perfectly with spot on harmonies. The song itself is not your usual Eurovision fare. Still, I didn’t love it. Gunnar thinks it won’t get a lot of votes.
🇮🇪Ireland
Brooke “That’s Rich”
Ireland decided they were sick of sending great songs that no one voted for, so this year they’ve decided to send total crap to see if they get votes. To this end, someone decided to put banal lyrics to a rejected Erasure backing track and call it “new.” Whatever.
🇮🇱Israel
Michael Ben David “I.M”
Michael is so charming and fun to watch in the video, with all of his great facial expressions, that you overlook the fact that the song—meaningful message and all—is still just one really big hot mess.
🇮🇹Italy
Mahmood & Blanco “Brividi”
Well, this is certainly quite different from last year’s submission from Italy, isn’t it? It is a typical Italian ballad in many ways. Of course, you have to work at it to make Italian sound anything but captivating when sung (with which Måneskin succeeded). I like both voices whether singing independently or when together. Gunnar says this showcases Mahmood’s voice better than his earlier Eurovision entry “Soldi.”
🇱🇻Latvia
Citi Zēni “Eat Your Salad”
Did Latvia send to Eurovision a song written for a children’s show about the benefits of being vegan? That’s how this super high energy song comes across, except for the part about being green being sexy, which wouldn’t be appropriate for young children. And yet, I can’t hate it, much as it left me scratching my head in wonder.
🇱🇹Lithuania
Monika Liu “Sentimentai”
I kind of like Monika’s voice and really like the style of music. But something about this number just doesn’t work for me; it just doesn’t seem to pull together in the end.
🇲🇹Malta*
Emma Muscat “I Am What I Am”
We think Malta has good taste in its entries. We really liked this song that put a smile on our faces. Could you call it trite? Maybe. But it still makes you smile, and its positive message can’t be overdone, especially at Eurovision
🇲🇩Moldova:
Zdob şi Zdub & Frații Advahov “Trenulețul”
It’s too bad there isn’t a prize for best video, because the brilliant official video for this song is really very funny and charming. The song itself needs the video, we think. If they can take all of the energy in the video onto the stage in Torino, they’ll have a chance, though.
🇲🇪Montenegro
Vladana “Breathe”
Vladana has a great voice, and sings in the tradition of the better Balkan entries, where they know how to sing out a ballad. But I think the song itself is just OK. Gunnar says that he respects that they continue to send entries that are true to themselves and their musical traditions. I agree.
🇳🇱Netherlands
S10 “De Diepte”
We liked this interesting song, which matches her voice perfectly. The mood the music sets is haunting and captivating, even if you don’t speak the language of the lyrics. It should do well.
🇲🇰North Macedonia
Andreas “Circles”
Andreas has got a really good voice with good depth and she delivers this decent song well. It won’t win but will add to a good show. The compelling video was really simple and allowed her to just carry the song. Gunnar kind of liked it. North Macedonia has high standards for its entries, and this is no exception.
🇳🇴Norway
Subwoolfer “Give That Wolf A Banana”
I’m a little speechless. Either Norway has gone completely “bananas” or this is a practical joke in order to take the major piss at Eurovision. Yes, the beat is catchy, and is a bit slick. And look, I always say that I want something different. But while others are raving, I’m not sure I like it, even as satire. I prefer substance over gimmicks.
🇵🇱Poland*
Krystian Ochman “River”
This is just the kind of song we needed after listening to Norway. As a trained singer (now there’s a concept) Krystian has a gorgeous, strong voice that he can control. (And he is as easy on the eyes as he is on the ears, but we digress.) Really powerful and enjoyable.
🇵🇹Portugal
MARO “Saudade Saudade”
The beauty of this song is in its simplicity and the quality of the harmonies when they all sing together. The lead singer, unfortunately, is quite weak.
🇷🇴Romania
WRS “Llámame”
It takes skill to sing a Latin dance song so poorly that I absolutely hate it, and here, they have done it. His stage presence ruined the song, which is pretty bad itself, actually. Even the quasi-hunky dancers in all but see through tops couldn’t save the risible production number.
🇸🇲San Marino
Achille Lauro “Stripper”
My vote: Keep your clothes on and your mouth shut. Gunnar: San Marino should have saved their money.
🇷🇸Serbia
Konstrakta “In Corpore Sano”
I’m sure this song means something significant to the Serbians, but even reading the English lyrics, it was indecipherable. Too bad the melody isn’t very pleasant to listen to, because it would make up for the total miss on the words.
🇸🇮Slovenia
LPS “Disko”
Here’s the thing: The song is catchy and the backing musicians are wonderful. The problem is that the lead singer can’t carry it. Let’s hope he has been practicing his stage presence and has been getting vocal coaching leading up to Eurovision. Then it could be really fun.
🇪🇸Spain
Chanel “SloMo”
Before playing this for the first time, I said to Gunnar that the entry from Spain is either “Stop going to Eurovision!” or “They can do it if they try!” This is the former. Calling it vapidly without substance is about the highest praise I can give it. Gunnar says “Formulaic and cheap, and I mean cheap in all ways.” I say, formulaic is probably giving it too much credit.
🇸🇪Sweden
Cornelia Jakobs “Hold Me Closer”
As much as I like the raspiness of her voice, there is just something missing from the whole package here. For one thing, I would have her hold the microphone further from her mouth. The song itself is pleasing enough, but not a knockout compared to many of the other songs here.
🇨🇭Switzerland*
Marius Bear “Boys Do Cry”
I really like the 50’s style beat of this song, with it’s hint of blues in it. Marius has the perfect voice to pull it off as well. The whole package really works here. I loved its charm.
🇺🇦Ukraine
Kalush Orchestra “Stefania”
The people on the stage performing the number had more fun with it than I did. Gunnar said, “Great dance party, but…”. It’s OK to mix musical styles, but it doesn’t work here.
🇬🇧United Kingdom*
Sam Ryder “SPACE MAN”
It almost doesn’t matter what we say about this song; no one in Europe is going to vote for it. The UK is last alphabetically, and often last in points. The video was clever and fun, so it will be interesting to see what he does on stage to replicate the experience of it. That said, I like the song a lot. It deserves some points people, so keep that in mind, OK?
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