Results of the New York Jury

12 points  Israel

10 points  Lithuania

 8  points  Sweden

 7 points  Poland

 6 points  France

 5 points  Hungary

 4 points  Belgium

 3 points  Serbia

 2 points  Russia

 1 point   Latvia

Lycka till alla! 

Eurovision 2016 Grand Final LIVE

Opening number:  Some of Sweden's nicest packages in tight undies.  Was ther anything else?

Belgium. Vote for her!

Czech Republic.  Someone PLEASE write her a better song!

Netherlands.  One of the best written songs musically and lyrically.  Could win.

Azerbaijan. Too bad the song is not as beautiful as she is.  It would take a miracle to be in Baku next year if this is the best they've got.

Hungary. He is cute. He looks hot in ripped jeans.  He sings. He cooks. I don't know if I should vote for him or marry him, or both.  The song is terrific.  Vote for him!

Italy.  Did Tim Burton design the set?  Like the song better with this hearing.

Israel. Love, love love, this song!!!!  Winner?  His mother is kvelling for sure. But let's change that hair.

Bulgaria.   Took a bathroom break. Hope you did, too.

SWEDEN.  Vi hållar timmarna.  That is the best he has ever done that song!!!!

Germany.  I doubt very much Birger Jarl wants to see this mess of a song from Germany.  Stupid dress.  Another Tim Burton set. Gunnar says, "WTF is she wearing?".

France.  I hate to say it but he is a really good perfomer and I kind of like it.  Russia is in trouble.

Poland. I like it. Please vote for it.  Bravo!

Australia.  Another great voice in need of a better song.   Where did she find my wedding dress?

Cyprus. Talk about change of pacee!  I do him before I'd listen to him sing. Send him back to prison.

Serbia.  Like this song for some reason.

Lithuania.  Adorable jail bait. Well! maybe not jail bait.   Terrific song well delivered.  Could HE win?

Croatia. She has a nice voice but sounds a little flat tonight.

Russia. I need a cigarette after that one.

Spain.  Säg nej.  Say naye.

Latvia. Another cutie.  Need another cigarette.  If I was feeling something on him it woldn't be his heartbeat.

Ukraine. Poignant.

Malta. Oh, did Malta sing?  I was in the John. Nice tits, though.  Is she pregnant?

Georgia.  Gunnar bought ear plugs today.  We are using them now and they really work well!

Austria. Nice gown. Was she a bridesmaid recently?  Take the Yellow Brick Road to Stockholm.

United Kingdom.  "We're in this together.". Ironic for the UK and the Brexit vote.   Maybe the UK won't come in last again!

Armenia.  Last in the start order and shoild be last in the finishing order.

Eurovions 2016--How to Vote

Now,  listen up, Europe! 

You made some mistakes in the semi-finals--some BIG mistakes.  But I've decided to forgive you if you vote right for the Grand Finale in Eurovision 2016.

This post tells you just how to vote in the Grand Finale.  First, however, you should read our full blow by blow complete description of all of the contestants on our special Eurovision 2016 page with the link here.

Are you ready? This is how I want you to vote in the Grand Final.   Here they are in their running order:

1. Belgium.  We liked this song.  It is fun to listen to and fun to watch.  While there are times we wish she had more of a disco diva voice, she sings and dances her heart out.  Vote for her!
2. Czech Republic.  Gorgeous voice.  Dull song.  Give it a pass.
3. The Netherlands.  The Dutch like to sound like American singers and he comes close both in the voice and in his choice of music.  And he flirts with the audience.  You can vote for him.
4. Azerbaijan.  Ho hum song, but she sings the hell out of it.  I won't be mad if you vote for her, but it is not my favorite. 
5. Hungary.  He gave this interesting song its all in the semi-final.  I would like him to improve his diction, but otherwise, he's a good performer.  Vote for him!  We'd like to see him in the Top 5.
6. Italy.  It has a little popera like sound which we like, but we get confused with bi-lingual songs.  It's OK if you throw her a vote or two. 
7. Israel.  We think this is a beautiful song that he performs well, starting slow and letting it build.  You MUST vote for him.  Here's another one that must be in the Top 5.  To be honest, we would not be mad if he were to win, but we don't think he will. 
8. Bulgaria.  How this mess got into the finals is completely beyond us, unless it was the radioactive earrings.  Use the time during the broadcast to refill your beer.  Give it a pass.
9. Sweden.  OK, a little bias here must be admitted.  It is an interesting song, even if not the best of the night.  (Förlåt, men som journalist jag måste skriva sanningen.)  Vote for him, though, and least get him in the Top 10, SVT paid a fortune for this broadcast.
10. Germany.   Since you can't vote for the year's most ridiculous costume, there is no reason to vote for her at all. 
11. France.  It is an OK song and the French have been through a lot this year, so you can throw a vote its way if you have to.  We think it could even make Top 10.
12. Poland.  This is a very respectable middle of the pack song.  Ask him to take off the nail polish, though.  You can throw a vote or two his way. 
13. Australia.  We did not like this song from the video, but it was so much better live.  The Aussies think she can win, but then what?  Eurovision in Sydney next year at 6:30 in the morning?  I don't think so.  But vote for her anyone; she's traveled the furthest and she can sing! 
14. Cyprus.  We like a good rock song sung by a lead singer who looks like he's done hard time in prison.  But this isn't a good rock song.  Keep your voting fingers still on this one. 
15. Serbia.  Here is another one that we liked better after we saw it live in the semi-finals.  We like her more mellow voice, which matches this music well.  Vote for her and put her in the Top 10. 
16. Lithuania.  Are all Lithuanian men good looking singers?  Here again, with an audience in front of him, he came alive and really gave a good performance in the semi-final.  Yes, vote for him.  Put him in the Top 5.  (Vill han bada naken i Sergelstorg innan han åker hem?)
17. Croatia.  WTF is going on with that dress?  It almost detracts from the performance rather than enhancing it.  She should get some votes, but keep her no higher than 15th but no lower than 20th, OK? 
18. Russia.  OK, look.  Politics aside if we can for a moment.  And we'll stop thinking about all the beefcake photos of him that are all over the internet for a moment.  It's a fun song, and the staging is terrific.  But I'm not sure that the song is better than all of the others, and there is part of me that says the staging is what is winning, not the song.  Uncle Putin will be mad if you don't let Russia win, but I would forgive you.  Throw him a vote or two and put him in the Top 5 or 10.  But no booing.  But wave those rainbow flags high!
19. Spain.  Don't say yay, say no way. 
20. Latvia.  We did not like this song from the video, but he also lit up in front of the audience, and they lit up right back.  He could land in the top 10.  I don't mind if you vote for him. 
21. Ukraine.  This is a tough one.  The song is moving once you know what she is singing about.  We don't buy the line that it's not about today, but love her all the more for it.  Gorgeous lighting effects.  Vote for her. 
22. Malta.  Forgettable song.  Forgettable performance.  Forget about voting for her. 
23. Georgia.  As we said before, we love a good rock song.  As we said before, this isn't it.  As we said before, don't waste a vote on them. 
24. Austria.  We hated this song without limits on the video.  But she is so charming on stage in that gown and obviously having the time of her life competing in Eurovision, it is tough to tell you not to vote for her.  So I won't tell you not to, but I won't tell you to, either.  OK, put here in the 10-15th place range, so she can go home with her head up. 
25. United Kingdom.  They're so cute and young, I want to help them with their homework.  No one votes for the UK anyway, but you could give them one or two so they don't go home with nothing.  Maybe 18th place?
26. Armenia.  Honey, the audience is mostly gay men.  What is up singing in a bathing suit and nylon stockings.  How this awful song got beyond the semi-finals when better songs were sent home is beyond us.  Take a lead from the Azeris and put this song dead last, which is one placement too high for it.  

Now you know how to vote, and don't let me down!  If you don't vote the way I like in Eurovision, I might just have to vote for Donald Trump in November.  Have I made myself clear?

Eurovision Song Contest 2016

Now Eurovision is officially under starter's orders.  To read our complete coverage so that you know how to vote, visit our Eurovision 2016 Special Coverage Page.  

You know we are always right!

Good luck to all the entries.

Melodifestivalen Deltävling 4

OK, I'll dance with you if you insist, but it isn't
a dance song, Frans.  I'm sorry.

Not familiar with the Swedish "Melodifestivalen"?  It is their selection process for the Eurovision Song Contest.  Like the Swedish winter, even though there may be moments you enjoy, it is hard to get through, and seemingly endless.  But Swedes endure it because, like the winter, when it is over, it is time for Spring.

Here, Radio Free Järbo's DJ David reviews the songs for you, with his expert, witty, and at times, sarcastic commentary.  

Where the songs are available online, we have linked them in the song title below, at least for as long as SVT keeps the links live.   

Another Saturday, another semi-final in Melodifestivalen.  SVT is still keeping up good production values and the hosts continue to be great, but then again, I am a big Sarah Dawn Finer fan, and Gina just seems to be getting better and better.

With a couple of exceptions, the entries seem to just be following "the formula."  Seriously, do the contestants go to a show room somewhere in Täby and pick the song, like they were choosing a wardrobe?

Interesting that those being sent to the finals so far are young; two are 33, the rest are in their teens and 20's.  That likely says more about the demographic who are voting than it does the merits of the songs themselves. 


1.  Eclipse
"Runaways"
As rock songs go, this one was surprisingly good.  It was well constructed and the guys performed it well.
RFJ Placement:  Andra Chansen
Actual Placement:  Sent them home in 5th place.

2.  Dolly Style
"Rollercoaster"
Um, hello, hi.   This is a song contest--shouldn't the contestants be able to sing?  At times the very key they were singing in was on a rollercoaster itself, up and down and back again. They would win a Gimmick Festival, but I am surprised they were even admitted to a song festival. although at least I doubt the idiotic words tested their intellect.  
RFJ:  Send them home and never invite them back.  Don't forget Angela Merkel's threat.
Actual: Andra Chansen

3. Martin Stenmark
"Du Tar Mig Tillbaks"  ("You Take Me Back")
Finally!  A real song sung by a real singer, sexy as hell.  Yo, you younger singers in the competition, watch and learn!  This is the way it is done.  (PS.  Tell the reviewer on Wiwi Blogs to learn Swedish or keep his opinons to himself.)
RFJ:  Final
Actual: Sent him home in 6th place.

4.  Linda Bengtzing
"Killer Girl"
Wow!  Look at those arms!  The song itself is a totally formulaic (does it come from the Melo Factory?) even if catchy in places.  A good maneater song would have been nice, because she is totally ready to deliver us one.  This, unfortunately, was not it.
RFJ:  Send her home.
Actual: Sent her home in 7th place.

5.  Frans
"If I Were Sorry"
I really like this song, which is not one of the generic types much in evidence this evening.  The tune builds and draws you in and the lyrics are interesting.  He does it well, although  I want him to work a little on his delivery (especially the ending which is a little sorry) and his stage presence.   With just a little polish, this could be really, really good.   It is the song I would send to Eurovision.
RFJ:  Final
Actual: Final

6.  Panetoz
"Håll om mig hårt"  ("Hold Me Tight")
It is impossible to watch them and not smile. But the song is not worth much.   Five guys singing more or less in unison is wasting the opportunity to use their varied voices to make the song special.  In the end, it was more energy than music.  And yet, I'm still smiling.
RFJ: Send them home.
Actual: Andra Chansen

7.  Molly Sandén
"Youniverse"
I could not like the song, try as I might.  It fell down from Planet  Formulaic, which is too bad.  I like her voice.  She deserved a better song than this "Euphoria" knock off.
RFJ:  Andra Chansen
Actual:  Final

Next week we see everyone slug it out in the Second Chance round.  

Melodifestivalen Deltävling 3

"Repeat after me..."

Not familiar with the Swedish "Melodifestivalen"?  It is their selection process for the Eurovision Song Contest.  Like the Swedish winter, even though there may be moments you enjoy, it is hard to get through, and seemingly endless.  But Swedes endure it because, like the winter, when it is over, it is time for Spring.

Here, Radio Free Järbo's DJ David reviews the songs for you, with his expert, witty, and at times, sarcastic commentary.  

Where the songs are available online, we have linked them in the song title below, for as long as SVT keeps the links live.  Not all songs have been made available.

Another week, another installment of Melodifestivalen.  Here again, the program around the individual numbers was more entertaining than the entries themselves.  Love, love, love Henrik Schyffert as a host, in red or in black, and he and Gina really worked well together.  I really think THEY should be the Eurovision hosts. (Actually we think DJ David should be the Eurovision host, but I guess it is too late for that. ) 

I am sure there will be plenty of time to rehearse what Schyffert said were the three most important words in the Swedish language (and oh, so many time have I used them!): "Fel låt vann" or "The wrong song won."  

1.  SaRaha

"Kizunguzungu"

Here is something a little different, with great energy.  But I do not feel the song has much substance.  A stronger voice, like Angélique Kidjo's, may have given the song a richness that is missing. 

RFJ Placement: Second Chance Round (Andra chansen)

Actual Placement:  Andra Chansen

2. Swingfly
"You Carved Your Name"

With a name like, Swingfly, I was predisposed to like them, being a big fan of  swing music.  The song has a catchy beat on the refrain, and they gave a very high energy performance.  At the end of the day, though, they do not have the greatest voices, and the song is not equally good throughout.

RFJ: Send them home

Actual: Sent them home. 

3.  Smilo

"Weight of the World"

Is this a dance tune?  If so, I wasn't up and dancing.  The song is a bit of a mess and a bit boring, even though the message at the heart of it is a good one. 

RFJ: Send them home. 

Actual: Sent them home (although they had me worried for a minute there)

4.  After Dark

"Kom Ut som en Stjärna"  ("Come Out Like a Star")

En riktigt gammel schlager för schlagerbögar och andra.  In many ways this is a good old fashioned disco diva number.  I liked the camp production around the song, and it is all the better if it helps young people come out.  But his voice isn't really a disco diva's voice, and it is a bit chopped off at the ending, the old "three minute rule" curse.

RFJ: Andra Chansen

Actual: Sent home

5.  Lisa Ajax

"My Heart Wants Me Dead"

I kind of like her voice but the song is only OK, not great.  I really wish the song were better for her sake, because with the right song, she could do well at Eurovision.  At least it is not the same old, same old. She does need to work on the words at the end of her phrases.  She has a tendency to throw them away, and it detracts from the lyrics. 

RFJ: Send her home reluctantly, but if she is voted to Andra Chansen  I won't mind. 

Actual: Final

6. Boris René

"Put your Love on Me"

Was he a little flat on the tune?  I think he was.  It could have been nerves.  It is a very catchy tune and he is a very good performer, even if in the end, the number lit no fires. 

RFJ:  Final, I guess.

Actual:  Andra Chansen

7.  Oscar Zia

"Human"

I like the song, for the most part.  I did feel, however, that all the electronic sounds and staging actually detracted from the song more than they add to it.  I also think he is not the best person for this particular song.  The back up singers are needed to make it work; he cannot carry it on his own.   Maybe it will get better over time.  It was the best of the night, although it was not a field with lots of strong candidates. 

RFJ:  Final

Actual: Final

Until next week, dear listeners!

DJ David

Melodifestivalen Deltävling 2

Not familiar with the Swedish "Melodifestivalen"?  It is their selection process for the Eurovision Song Contest.  Like the Swedish winter, even though there may be moments you enjoy, it is hard to get through, and seemingly endless.  But Swedes endure it because, like the winter, when it is over, it is time for Spring.

This is the Radio Free Järbo Guide to Melodifestivalen for Americans, Other Non-Nordics, and  Curious (Yellow and Blue) Swedes.

Where the songs are available online, we have linked them in the song title below, at least for as long as SVT keeps the links live.  

I'm back!  Did you miss me?

Overall, we were not all that pleased with the quality of the contributions in the second round.  Most songs seemed very similar, and hard to tell one from the other.  Here again, a number of very good singers are given a number of very bad songs.   It is a good thing the show comes in the middle of the afternoon here, because I would have slept through if it were in the evening.  Personally, the New York Jury thought Charlotte Perrilli should represent Sweden at Eurovision (again) with the Schlagerdivan song.  It was very funny, very well done, and the highlight of the evening. 

1.  David Lindgren
"We Are Your Tomorrow"
If my tomorrow is a such a mediocre song, I may stay in bed. (Of course, if he is there, too, all the more reason.)  I liked his hair, though.
RFJ Placement:  Second chance
Actual Placement:  To the Final

2.  Victor och Natten
"100%"
He gave 100% for sure in his performance, but the song is worth less than 50.  (Han påminner mig lite grann om Linus Svenning fast utan alla metal bitar.) 
RFJ Placement:  Send him home.
Actual Placement:  Sent him home.

3.  Molly Petterson Hammar
"Hunger"
This anemic song made me lose my appetite for listening.  And I'm mad.  She has a great voice and wonderful stage presence. Won't someone please write her a decent song? Please!  With the right song she could win the whole deal and win Eurovision in the bargain.
(NB: Jag säger det på allvar, fast att hon är nästan släkt: min mansandrakusinspojkvänskompisdottir.)
RFJ Placement:  Second Chance.
Actual Placement:  Second Chance.

4.  Isa
"I Will Wait"
I am still waiting for a decent song for her as well.  I guess I'm too impatient to wait much longer.  Next!
RFJ Placement: Send her home.
Actual Placement:  Second Chance.

5.  Krista Siegfrids
"Faller"
Help!  Krista Siegfrids has fallen and she can't get up!  She won everyone's hearts a couple of years ago as Finland's entry to Eurovision with the delightfully fun song "Marry Me."  With this boring song (which means "Falling" in English), I'm ready to file divorce papers.
 RFJ Placement:  Second Chance.
Actual Placement:  Sent her home.

6.  Patrik, Tommy, and Uno
"Hål mitt hjärta hårt"
Finally!  Performers who are mature!  Not teenagers! I wanted to like the song, I really did.  I really tried!  But alas, I couldn't, even though it was one of the better written songs of the night.
RFJ Placement:  To the final (there were no other options).
Actual Placement:  Sent him home.

7.  Wiktoria
"Save Me"
This was the only song of the night that seemed not be from that same factory in Södertälje that  turned out all the other songs.  The CT scan graphics were a little off putting at times.  And WTF with the WWF belt?  Is she a World Wrestling Federation champion, too?
RFJ Placement:  To the final.
Actual Placement:  To the final.

Melodifestivalen Deltävling 1

Samir och Viktor  at the Melodifestivalen, and
getting ready for Sergelstorg.

This is part of the Radio Free Järbo Guide to Melodifestivalen for Americans, Other Non-Nordics, and  Curious (Yellow and Blue) Swedes.  Watch for the complete guide soon.

 Not familiar with the Swedish "Melodifestivalen"?  It is their selection process for the Eurovision Song Contest.  Like the Swedish winter, even though there may be moments you enjoy, it is hard to get through, and seemingly endless.  But Swedes endure it because, like the winter, when it is over, it is time for Spring.

Where the songs are available online, we have linked them in the song title below.  For the winners, they are no longer online so, you'll just need to wait to see them again in the final.  Sorry.  

Wow!  SVT can produce a good show.  The number Allt är Eurovisions fel ("It's all Eurovision's Fault," a parody on the effect hosting Eurovision is having on SVT's budget) was hilarious.  It is too bad the acts between the performances weren't the actual entires.    Much déja vu all over again from last year.  Has it really been that long?

1.  Samir och Viktor
"Bada Nakna" (Skinny dipping)
Last year, they sang about taking a groupie in English.  This year they are singing in Swedish about skinny dipping in the fountains of Sergelstorg in Stockholm (which is about as private as Herald Square or the Bethesda Fountain in New York).   While the shirtlessness made for a happy ending, even that, all of their infectious energy, and the thought of them, well, swimming nude couldn't save a basically dumb song.
Radio Free Järbo's vote:  Second Chance
Actual Placement:  Second Chance

2.  Pernilla Anderssson
"Mitt Guld"  (My Gold)
We enjoyed this beautiful song, sung with heart and a beautiful voice by Ms. Andersson, a singer's singer.  But we knew it wouldn't go far.  Ballads tend not to do well in Melodifestivalen, which is too bad, because Swedes write good lyrics when they write seriously in Swedish.  Tack, Pernilla!
Radio Free Järbo's vote:  To the Final
Actual Placement: Sent her home  (We knew it but are no less disappointed.)

3.  Mimi Werner
"Ain't No Good"
Not quite country, not quite rock, this was an upbeat, well constructed song, delivered exactly right for the kind of song it was. While it was more than "no good," it wasn't great.   We thought it deserved to go further in the competition.
Radio Free Järbo's vote:  Second Chance
Actual Placement: Sent her home.

4.  Ablin och Mattias
"Rik"  (Rich)
This song about being rich was melody poor and lacking in meaningfulness.  Our advice?  If you are going to rap, then rap.  If you are going to sing, then sing. 
Radio Free Järbo's vote:  Send them home to find a better song.
Actual Placement: Second Chance.

5.  Anna Book
"Himmel för två" (Heaven for Two)
She was disqualified before the competition because the tune had been used before for a Moldovan  song several years ago, in violation of the official rules.  Too bad.  It was kind of good.

 6.  Robin Bengtsson
"Constellation Prize"
The tune was catchy enough and the words were adequate so that the song was basically fun to listen to.  We liked it. 
Radio Free Järbo's vote:  To the Final
Actual Placement:To the Final

7.  Ace Wilder
"Don't Worry"
If Sweden sends this train wreck of a song to Eurovision, it will have plenty to worry about.  Basically, it has no tune, few words, and requires little if any talent to sing it, which suits Ms. Wilder quite well--she's not up to a challenge.  The staging was terrific, which was a good thing; it gave the audience something to concentrate on other than this banal song, which was equally bad as her last year's entry "Busy Doing Nothing."
Radio Free Järbo's vote:  Send her home (and never ask her back)
Actual Placement: To the Final